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DEAR PAT: My sister
(she's in her mid-20's) had a traumatic brain injury during a car accident
almost one year ago. She's been home from the hospital for several months and is
doing a lot better. She continues to have weakness on the right side of her body
and some memory problems, though. Also, her confidence seems low. I wonder if
she'll ever get back to being like she was before the accident. How long does it
take to get better after a severe brain injury? What can I do to help her?
Thanks, Pat!
PAT'S RESPONSE: Bravo and keep up the good work! It sounds like you
care a lot about your sister and want the very best for her. Now that she
has been home for a while, you have a chance to look toward the future. Help
her anticipate new challenges that may surface. Provide support and
encouragement when they do. A little "sisterly love" goes a long way.
In response to your question about recovery time, the short answer is, "It
depends." Recovery from brain injury--as you are learning first hand--is
usually a long-term process. People may recover quite rapidly in the first
six months to a year after their injuries. Then, people tend to find the
rate of recovery slows down. The good news is that most individuals continue
to recover for some time, just at a more gradual pace than before. Others
find their physical or cognitive problems seem to linger on indefinitely.
Your sister is far from the "indefinite" phase of recovery. Her problems
with motor weakness and forgetfulness may continue to improve. It depends on
a number of factors including her own individual strengths (supportive
family, motivation, young age) or challenges (severity of brain damage,
access to rehabilitation resources), whether this will be the case.
Never stop working toward improvement! Recovery depends on what you do to
help it along. To make the most of her progress, your sister should keep
regular visits with doctors and specialists trained in rehabilitation (e.g.,
physical and occupational therapists, neuropsychologists, and physiatrists).
Talking to other people about her condition may help renew confidence lost
after the accident. Rehabilitation counselors and support groups offer a
caring environment for guidance and education about surviving brain injury.
Strategies to overcome and/or adjust to memory problems can be developed
with the help of a rehabilitation psychologist. Many people find talking
with others that have survived brain injuries helps them better manage their
own adjustment. Go to a support group for family members of survivors, kind
sister, and take advantage of the companionship and understanding you too
deserve.
DEAR PAT: My life is in a rut. I do the same thing
every day and see the same few people. Life is so dull and lacks luster. Plus,
it's been three years since I had a head injury and I haven't been out on a date
since. At first, I was too busy getting well to worry about dating. I didn't
know what the future had in store for me. Over time, I've found that I don't
have as much in common with the people I used to have as good friends. I'm
trying to think of ways to meet new people (maybe even someone special) and to
find different activities that are more in line with who I am today. Help!
PAT'S RESPONSE: Could this be a case of the "winter blahs" or
something more terminal like "love sickness?" Either way, you are not alone.
We all experience times in our lives that seem a little too familiar and
routine. Are you ready to make some changes, shake off the snow, crawl out
of hibernation, etc.? If so, read on…
First, give yourself some credit for taking the time to get better after
your injury. Reliable schedules and familiar people make the recovery time
easier for most people. Second, Pat suggests you take stock in your life.
What other areas may need a make-over (besides your love life)? When was the
last time you picked up a new hobby, tried a different sport, took a class,
or went to the library and browsed the aisles? These types of activities not
only improve the "inner" you, but also increase your exposure to new ideas
and people. When you broaden your range of interests, you increase the
chances others will be interested in you! Third, you may want to consider
ways to accentuate your outward appearance as well. Ask yourself (and
answer) these types of questions to see where you could improve your "people
skills."
- Would others consider you a warm and friendly person?
- Are you a good listener and show interest in the other person during
conversations?
- Do you make the most of your appearance (neat haircut, clean
clothes, big smile)?
If you're kind to yourself, cultivate new interests, and appear
approachable, you are well on your way to being a good friend to yourself
and someone else. Good Luck!
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